Peace in the Chaos

Q. We have three children—two in elementary school and one in high school—and lately we have noticed how anxious they are about everything happening in their world—wars, violence, cyberbullying, and more. What can we do as Christian parents to help our children develop a strong, resilient faith, keep their trust in God, and find peace in the midst of such a crazy and chaotic world?

A. Thank you for your candid question. The truth is, parenting today is harder than it used to be. Our children are growing up in a world that seems designed to make them anxious. Among social media, school pressures, news cycles that never stop, and a pace of life that leaves little room to breathe, it is no wonder that researchers are reporting record levels of anxiety among children and youth today. In fact, studies suggest that nearly one in three children will struggle with an anxiety disorder before they reach adulthood. That is not a small number. That is the child sitting in your pew, at your dinner table, in your home.

But here is the good news: You are not alone in this, and you are not without guidance. When we bring together the wisdom of Scripture and what we are learning through sound research, we begin to see that God has already provided what we need to raise children who can stand firm, even in a world that often feels shaky and unstable.

Start with what Paul told young Timothy: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Tim. 1:7). Now, Paul was writing to a young man who was known to be timid—someone who struggled under pressure, not unlike many of our children today. And Paul’s word to him was not “Toughen up.” It was a reminder of what God had already placed inside him. Fear, as a way of life, as the lens through which you see everything, does not come from God. That kind of chronic, nagging, pervasive anxiety—the kind that wakes kids up at night and keeps them from trying new things—that is not God’s design for your children.

There’s a Difference

Psychologists agree. They draw a clear distinction between normal, healthy fear—the kind that keeps a child from running into traffic—and disordered anxiety, which is a persistent sense of dread that has no clear cause and no clear off switch. The prescription Paul offers—power, love, and a sound mind—lines up remarkably well with what researchers identify as the three foundations of resilience in children: a sense of competence, a sense of being loved, and the ability to think clearly under pressure. God knew what He was doing long before the research caught up.

The truth is, parenting today is harder than it used to be.

None of that resilience develops in a vacuum. It grows in relationship. Solomon put it plainly: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths” (Prov. 3:5, 6). For a child, learning to trust God begins by learning to trust you. Researcher John Bowlby spent his career demonstrating something that grandmothers have always known—children who have at least one adult in their lives who is consistently warm, present, and responsive grow up with a fundamentally different relationship to fear. They can face hard things because they have experienced safety. They can try and fail because they know they will not be abandoned.

This means that one of the most powerful things you can do for your anxious children is simply to be there—calm, consistent, and unafraid. When you pray with your child in the middle of a hard moment instead of panicking alongside them, you are teaching their nervous system something no classroom can teach. You are showing them what trust looks like in real time.

And then there is the long game—what Solomon called training: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6). That Hebrew word for training does not mean drilling rules into a child until they comply. It means orienting their whole person—their habits, their values, their sense of identity—toward a particular path. It is slow work. It is daily work. And it is some of the most important work a parent will ever do.

Researchers studying resilient young people have found, repeatedly, that the ones who thrive are not the ones who were protected from every difficulty. They are the ones who were given a sense of purpose—children who believe their lives mean something, who have been taught to find meaning even in hard seasons, and who are connected to something bigger than themselves. Faith, it turns out, is not a crutch. It is a competitive advantage.

So what does this look like on a Friday afternoon? It looks like letting your child struggle with something hard instead of immediately rescuing them. It looks like sitting with them in their fear instead of dismissing it. It looks like naming their emotions—“I hear you are really scared right now, and that is OK”—without catastrophizing. It looks like building rhythms of prayer, gratitude, and Scripture into the ordinary fabric of family life. It looks like a home where feelings are welcome, God is trusted, and nobody needs to face anything alone.

The world is anxious. That is simply true. But our children do not have to be defined by that anxiety. They can be shaped, instead, by the power, the love, and the sound mind that God has placed within them—and by parents who believe that, live that, and show them how.

Please know that you and your children are in our prayers as you face present realities with the resilience you’ve already received from a God who has promised to be with you always and to supply all of your needs (Phil. 4:19). Trust Him.